The Ice-Cream Man

Where is that god dame taxi…I not use to ringing for taxis.

It should have been here 40 min ago.

Should I call another taxi, maybe I should.

My heart is pounding with fear & excitement.

My Jeans pockets are bulging with rolls of banks notes, must be at least fifteen hundred their.

I keep putting my hands in my pockets to check the money is still there, so scared of losing it.

I can’t lose it, it’s all I have to get started in life.

The rain is lashing against the window, this big hall-way seems so weird, so so big, our hallway at home is the size of a single bed. This hallway is the size of our whole house and more. It’s not a bright room, very drab and gloomy. Need to get out of here. Is that the taxi I hear?

As the taxi driver loads my bags in the car, rain lashing against us “where to love” why is it every one in the city calls me love, maybe they all love me as I look like a lost little soul.

I have to pick some one up on O'Connell Bridge “what part” oh my god is there different part to a bridge.

I am already late, I should have been there for five thirty, it now six fifteen, they may be gone.

I am feeling very scared not knowing what to do, or what might happen, or am I making the biggest mistake of my life, decisions decisions, my brain is hurting with all the thinking..

My heart is pounding faster & harder than the rain hitting against the windscreen.

Excitement & Fear all mixed up together. Should I or shunt't I go with him, should I stay, or should I see his face one last time.

Should I go back to the room I just left. I can’t go back, just can't walk back in to the room, I have already broken to many heart in that room tonight.

Their he is still waiting on the bridge,, “Excuse me sir” “Excuse me sir” “their he is, that who I picking up”. “There he is in his leather jacket” a lovely Tan leather jacket I bought him for Christmas and a sliver parker pen in his pocket that I bought him for his birthday earlier that year.

That was it, he had nothing else no bags, no toothbrush, no extra clothing with him, he brought nothing with him, and here I am with my suit case full of what, a few clothes and my teddy bears. Life is sad right now but I hope it just about to get better.

He doesn't know I found out his secret last night, and it was shocking.

I should do the right thing and walk away, but that easier said than done.

I am praying what I found isn't true, please god don't let it be true.

Sometimes we have to go with our hearts and not what our minds is telling us, and this time I am going with my heart.

As much as it hurts me I have to do what right for me. I could look back in a few months time and say Mmm maybe I should have listen to my mind that day.

I think I know him so well, how am I going to tell him I know his secret, or when is he going to tell me.

He has lied, lied for a whole 12 months to me, and I knew all long their was something their that wasn't falling right with him.

I never, never knew and if I had known back then things would be so very, very different for me.

But I know him now, or at least I think I know him, and not every man can pop out to get ice cream walk out on their family, and start a new life with a young fuzzy like me, maybe fuzzy is the wrong word for me, but that what I felt that day, now that I just found out he was married with kids

My heart breaks for his family, as they are waiting at home for the ice cream to go with the apple tart, not knowing that he is never going home.

But I am also full of fear and excitement with our new life beginning, and the lied it has all started on.

He done this for me and that says lots, even though he has lied for so long, and he still doesn't know I know his secret.

So the Ice cream man

left home that wet winters night to elope with me.